Daddy's Hands

I wrote this post on the 16th of September in 2012, nine days before my dad passed away, but didn't post it. It was us kids' third day up at Mayo in Rochester with my dad while he was in the hospital there. I've been missing him a lot lately and the fact that it's Father's Day has accentuated that all the more. 

Happy Father's Day to my Daddy in heaven!

Remembering you is easy, I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.

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A lot has changed about my dad in a physical sense over the past 3 months.

He has lost weight, he has lost his balance, and he has tremors so he can't really control a lot of what he does. He isn't really able to speak very well in full sentences either. But one thing that really hasn't changed at all about him is his hands.

They have the same calluses, they are the same size, his fingernails still have the same crazy lines and cracks in them, his knuckles still bend in the same funky ways, and they have the same wear and tear and bumps...

I remember the way he used to talk to us at basketball practice with his fist clenched and his thumb on top. He'd point at us with his thumb as he was trying to make his point.

I remember the way he used to use his hands when he talked on the phone in his office all the time. And the way we used to make fun of him for it.

His hands were always so strong, and they still are. Especially when he would hug us - I noticed this very much over the past few months. No matter how weak he seemed or how hard it was for him to stand, he would still give the strongest side hugs ever! What I wouldn't give to have him hug me that tightly again...

I love you, Daddy.

Daddy's Hands

I remember daddy's hands folded silently in prayer 

And reachin' out to hold me, when I had a nightmare

You could read quite a story in the callous' and lines

Years of work and worry had left their mark behind

I remember daddy's hands how they held my mama tight

And patted my back for something done right

There are things that I'd forgotten that I loved about the man

But I'll always remember the love in daddy's hands

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin'

Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong

Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand

There was always love in daddy's hands.

I remember daddy's hands workin' 'til they bled

Sacrificed unselfishly just to keep us all fed

If I could do things over, I'd live my life again

And never take for granted the love in daddy's hands